In training--ask and you shall receive

I'm training for the Indianapolis Mini-Marathon in May--I ran it last year, and it was a great experience, God taught me lots through it.

Last year I "trained" in six weeks total--needless to say, I couldn't walk up stairs for a couple of weeks afterwards. This year I'm planning ahead, and started a 17 week training program after Christmas. I'm not following it to the T, but I am trying to stay somewhat on track (hah! that pun wasn't intentional!) with the distance runs.

It's been cold enough that I've been doing most of my running on a treadmill. While it's good training for speed and pace, it isn't the good prayer time I need. The combination of people around me, Obama and Clinton on CNN, and watching the clock makes for not quality prayer running.

So today I headed outside. The goal: six miles and some good God time. I used gmaps pedometer to come up with a route--it was actually 5.75 miles, but good enough for me today. I need to figure out the "what to wear in 30 degree weather" thing, but did ok--I just need a wind jacket with some ventilation and I'll be good. The coat I had on was too toasty, while my face was cold. Maybe I'll try a hoodie next time.

It takes about 3 miles to get the grumbles out, then the good God time begins. I'm sure I'll have more to say about the spiritual training analogy another day. In about the final mile, God was talking to me about "ask and it shall be given unto you" (Luke 11:9) and "You do not have, because you do not ask God" (James 4:2b). God was pointing out to me the reason I haven't been given some things is because, frankly, I'm afraid to ask for them! I'm afraid of another miscarriage, or having a baby with birth defects (we're old, ya know). I'm afraid of what another child would do to our relationships with our older children and our marriage. Where would we put another child? Would there be enough money? Would we be able to do a good job parenting? Isn't this just me being jealous and self-centered? I don't really buy the "God doesn't give you more than you can handle" saying--I think He DOES give us more than we can handle on our own, so that we're FORCED to turn to Him for help. So I prayed that we'd turn to Him *without* needing a crisis.

God showed me this is really a trust issue--do I really trust Him to provide for my and my family's needs? Do I trust Him to not give us a child if it's outside of His will? The hard thing is reading the signs--do the miscarriages mean "not now" or "not never"? What kind of no is this?

This week I've also had two friends speak the same message to me--one said there's nothing wrong with wanting another child, you're not asking for something outside of God's will. And when I was telling another friend about Harmony's desire for a baby, her comment was that there are much worse reasons to have one, like to keep a marriage together, to have someone love you, etc.

So God, I'm trusting you with our reproductive life. I trust that you'll be with us through whatever is in store for our family.

Thankful Thursday

My heart is full but my list is short and my arms feel empty--this week I'm thankful for:

--new life all around me. Somehow I expected when I had miscarriages, births on the planet would stop, but I'm glad God keeps blessing people with the miracle of babies--four new pregnancies announced/discovered in the last three weeks.

--Having a washer and dryer at my house. A couple of Sundays ago we stopped by the local gas station/laundromat to get a paper and warm up from a long walk. It brought back memories of having to haul our laundry somewhere, and especially now with kids, it made me sooo glad to have our own!

--That God loved us when we were unlovable--what an amazing thing to celebrate this Valentine's Day.

For more Thankful Thursdays, please visit Iris!

Wordless Wednesday--Valentines for the teachers

Henry's (age 5)


Harmony's (age 3):


The note Henry wrote me at school last Thursday:

Top Ten things I love about my kids right now

I think part of my (not as bad as it sounds on my blog) angst is a Peter Pan syndrome...for my kids. This age is just too fun, and I can see the end in sight, and that's sad :( So here's the list of stuff that I love about where they are right now that I don't want to forget:

10. Racing to get dressed in the morning as a motivational technique.
9. Counting before we pray--where did that come from anyway??
8. Playing at the park--underdogs are well loved.
7. Harmony painting and making wonderful creations.
6. Henry building intricate Lego ships.
5. "Mom, play with me!"
4. Enthusiastic greetings when I pick them up from their preschool or meet them at home.
3. Bath time--Harmony likes to make Santa beards with her bubbles.
2. Snuggle time in the morning...usually ended by a round of tickling.
1. Story time. Every night we read too many books, with Harmony on my right side, Henry on my left, the cat on my lap, and the books tettering somewhere. I usually can barely breathe and my feet usually fall asleep, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Melodic Monday--God Watches over His Children at Night

We're still on the John Hirt CD...
Henry really loves track three, Mary had a little lamb (Jesus=Lamb of God), but track 4 is the one that makes me tear up:

God Watches over His Children at Night

She pulls back the covers and slips out of bed
Her baby's cries still ring in her head
it's been almost two years since she's passed away
she misses her more with each passing day
She busies herself with her unending chores
thinking the while that there's got to be more
And then she remembers He'll always be there

God watches over His children at night
Softly and gently He holds them tight
Fears melt away in His glorious light
He promised to those who believe in Him

He enters the room where his father lay still
the passage of time has left him so frail
the man that he knew when he was a young boy
is now just a memory of time filled with joy
he looks at his face and he sees himself there
Would his family love him, would anyone care?
Would hearts be left broken, apologies unspoken?
Would his final hours leave him darkness and cold?

God watches over His children at night
Softly and gently He holds them tight
Fears melt away in His glorious light
He promised to those who believe in him

Now I lay me down and I go to sleep
I pray to God my soul to keep
If I should die before I awake

God watches over His children at night
Softly and gently He holds them tight
Fears melt away in His glorious light
He promised to those who believe in him

She pulls back the covers and slips out of bed
Her baby's cries still ring in her head

Harmony's prayer tonight

My ulcerative colitis is acting up a bit--not as awful as it could be, but enough to be annoying. So at prayer time tonight, Patrick asked everyone to pray for my tummy. Here is Harmony's prayer:

Make mommy's tummy have a baby in it, and for her to feel good while it's in there.

THIS is why it's hard to hear about newly pregnant people (discovered another one at church today...) While I'm (mostly)fine with our family size, Harmony most definitely isn't. And she's making it known on a more regular basis these days...

Give Harmony her heart's desire, Lord--either change the desires of her heart, or make reality match her desire, in your timing!

I am 36, going on 37...

Remember this Sound of Music song?
Rolf:]
You wait, little girl, on an empty stage, For fate to turn the light on
Your life, little girl, is an empty page, That men will want to write on

[Liesl:]
To write on

[Rolf:]
You are sixteen going on seventeen Baby, it's time to think
Better beware, be canny and careful Baby, you're on the brink

You are sixteen going on seventeen Fellows will fall in line
Eager young lads and rogues and cads Will offer you food and wine

Totally unprepared are you To face a world of men
Timid and shy and scared are you Of things beyond your ken

You need someone older an wiser telling you what to do
I am seventeen going on eighteen I'll take care of you

[Liesl:]
I am sixteen going on seventeen I know that I'm naive
Fellows I meet may tell me I'm sweet and willingly I believe

I am sixteen going on seventeen Iinocent as a rose
Bachelor dandies, drinkers of brandies, What do I know of those

Totally unprepared am I to face a world of men
Timid and shy and scared am I Of things beyond my ken

I need someone older and wiser telling me what to do
You are seventeen going on eighteen I'll depend on you

Alrighty, I'm not sixteen, but I am thirty six. And just like Liesel, I need help with this getting older thing! It's definitely hitting, and I'm feeling it. The other night, Harmony said, "Mommy, what are those lines on your face?" Ugh...

I am not ready to be old. I know, just like Paul, that I must diminish as my kids get older. But I am not ready to be old, ugly and useless...but that's definitely how I feel.

So if you're older and wiser (even if it's 37 going on 38 :)) and have some advice to give, I'd appreciate it. I am completely serious when I say that we're one of the oldest at our church, so there aren't "real life" mentors available...so I'm looking in the bloggy world!

Persistence in prayer

This is a blog that has been brewing for a while. Sometimes we wonder, "why doesn't God answer my prayers RIGHT NOW? I need him NOW, not later!" While I don't imagine that I have the answer to this question, I do want to share what I've learned.

The story people usually point to is the death of Lazarus in John 11--Jesus could have shown up before Lazarus died, but instead he waited. And John is even good enough to tell you why he waited--so that we may believe (v 15), see God's glory (v 40), and know that God sent Jesus (v 42).

The problem I have with this story is that if you're Lazarus, it's no fun being dead. And to be honest, his sisters probably weren't praying for Lazarus to be raised. Martha had faith that Lazarus would be raised when the ressurection came, but she had given up for the time being. So it's more a story about God's timing vs our timing, than about persistence in prayer.

The story that struck me recently was Jonah. We all know he was in the belly of the whale for three days, but do you know what he was doing down there? Yup, praying. So why didn't God have the whale/fish spit him out immediately?

I've heard some people say that Jonah's heart was so hard that it took him three days to start praying. Somehow I doubt that--I have a feeling he started sending up prayers as soon as he was thrown in the sea. And there is support for that from the grammar--the verb tense of "prayed" in 1:17 is imperfect, which means it was continuous or unfinished....I tend to think of it as continuous!

I think there were a couple of reasons God waited. First, so that Jonah could realize how he got himself in this mess to begin with. Now, not all of our situations are due to our own sin like Jonah's was, but our situations do have a history.

Secondly, I think it helped Jonah realize that his only salvation was God, and that he didn't deserve it. Jonah knew he had done wrong; 2:4 shows that he knew he was banished, and he still looked to the "holy temple."

There are times when I think we think (how's that for convoluted) that we DESERVE something from God, yet in all honesty, we're sinners and deserve nothing. It's kind of like at the end of Jonah--God gave him a vine to shelter him and it made him happy, but he didn't thank God, and was angry when God took it away. I know I'm tempted to give God a list of reasons of why he should give me what I want, but really the only good reason is because God is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love (Jonah 4:2). It's not about me; it's all about God.

But wait, there's more! Jonah 2 has two more reasons. Verse 8 says, "Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs." Wow. That's convicting. So I guess when I'm waiting on God, I better examine for logs in my eye--is there something I'm putting in front of God in my own life? Is there something God's asked me to do (like giving a message to someone (cough, Ninevah, cough)) that I haven't done? The "worthless idols" is "lying vanities" in the King James--am I being too self absorbed and vain?

The last element in Jonah's prayer is thanksgiving: "But I will sacrifice to You with the voice of thanksgiving, I will pay what I have vowed. Salvation is of the LORD.” I don't think this was Henry and Harmony's "and thank you for this day and for this morning" kind of thanksgiving; rather it was a SACRIFICE of thanksgiving. Really turning your heart over to God and giving him thanks for the circumstance, even when it's ugly and definitely not what we want. It's giving thanks in the hard times, in all circumstances.

So while hanging out in the belly of a whale at the bottom of the sea for three days and nights is not my idea of fun, I do think God uses that time to grow our faith--to show us the bigger picture of our circumstance, to help us realize that God is really our only salvation and there is nothing we can do to deserve his mercy, to give us a chance to clean our junk, and to show us what sacrificial thanksgiving looks like. None of those are "fun" lessons at the time, but discipline shows us that God loves us and cultivates wisdom.

Man, that was a novel! But it was good for me to work through that. Thanks if you made it all the way through ;)

Lord, thank you that you do answer prayer, that you are slow to anger and abounding in love. Thanks for the example of Jonah, and help me to do what you ask of me without having to spend time in a stinky whale belly. Thank you that you discipline your children whom you love, and help us to accept it and grow from it.

Thankful Thursday--Love and Playmobil Knights and Pirates

Henry is completely obsessed with his Playmobil sets. They have gone to school with him a couple of days this week, as well as to Harmony's dance lesson and pretty much anywhere he goes. I've been a little bit frustrated with him, partially because his favorite aspect is shooting/killing/knocking over the "bad guys". We've been very into non-violence--we talk about how killing breaks God's law, and we don't even want to pretend to do that.

I had a revelation last night--what a great way to teach him about Romans 5:8: "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." We are all "bad guys". We all deserve to die. Yet Christ died in OUR place, that we could live, not just now, but with Him, in heaven, for eternity.

Now I just need a chance to play knights with him again!

So this week I'm thankful for:
--Christ dying for me and all the other sinners out there.
--That there is nothing we can do to earn it
--The promise of eternal life, where Christ where wipe every tear away
--The opportunity to teach about God through Henry's favorite playthings
--For little boy's dreams of slaying the dragon and little girl's dreams of dancing at the ball
--That my kids WANT to play with me
--Biblememory.us This verse was one of the ones I've memorized--after using the program for six months, I really can see the fruit of it. I love that you don't move on until you have the verse exactly right, and there are opportunities to review the verses you've learned
--finding our W2 statements--they got misfiled.

Thanks to Iris for hosting this week's Thankful Thursday--complete with a give away! Talk about grace upon grace!

Wordless Wednesday

Top Ten Tuesdays--Signs it's time to clean house

Matilde hasn't come to clean our house since before Christmas, and I miss her! Patrick is reducing his hours at work, so we're trying to cut back, but this is one place that it might be worth it to not cut the corner!

Top ten signs it's time to clean the house

10. Your bathrooms are inhabited by dinosaurs, lego men, ponies, and other random things that don't belong in the bathroom.
9. Children under the age of 2 require close supervision, for fear of what they'll find to eat off of the floor (pirate heads? Knight swords? Princess shoes? Legos? Old cereal?)
8. There are Christmas presents (and a tree!) still waiting to be put away
7. Countertops? What countertops! They're clutter collectors.
6. The kids are sleeping in their clothes because their favorite jammies have gone AWOL.
5. In case of emergency, the back door is not accessible--it's blocked by baskets of clean laundry (at least they're clean!)
4. Finding clothes to wear means digging through said baskets
3. The cat looks longingly at the litterbox, and informs you there's work to be done
2. "Put it in the trash" is a challenge, since every trash can is overflowing...
1. Go barefoot at your own risk!

Needless to say, I collected and took out the trash, folded all the laundry and cleaned the bathrooms tonight...but the floors still aren't completely safe :) I think vacuuming and decluttering round 10 will be tomorrow's project :)

What's on your top ten list this week?

Melodic Monday--Give you all I've Got by John Hirt

Patrick bought a bunch of CD's from CD Baby before Christmas--mostly lesser known artists, but some really good stuff! This is one of Henry's favorites--it's strange to hear a five year old singing a song about marriage! You can listen to a clip here...and if you like it, you can buy it at http://cdbaby.com/cd/hirt (and I didn't get anything for that endorsement!)

Give You All I’ve Got By John Hirt

I’ve been around a lot of women, they seemed to come and go
There were some I cared for but there were some just for show
Then you came into my life with your arms open wide
You were everything I needed and I had to make you mine

Chorus:
I’ll give you all I’ve got to give,
I’ll give you my last breath
Take my hand, let’s walk towards heaven
And make our union His.

It seems like only yesterday that you gave us your first son
The angels all came down from heaven and stood around this little one
They started singing Hallelujah, a sound so sweet and clear
Reach out your hands towards heaven, you’ve got nothing to fear

(Chorus)

I though for years I had everything a man could ever want
I had all the money but none of the love
Then you came into my life with your arms open wide
I pray to God that you’ll never leave my side

(Chorus)

How much longer?

...until I can say "congratulations" the first time someone tells me they're pregnant? Yes, my response to someone at church who was wretching because of morning sickness was a sinking sadness....I really am fine with our family size staying at four, but man, another out of left field pregnancy announcement left me with at best shallow response and a hollow feeling.

Enough already! At least I've gotten past having that feeling every day, and being ok with our family being the way it is. But being in the middle of a baby boom is just fodder for not ideal responses from me (at church, there are two people in their third trimester, at least one in the second, and this early one I found out about this morning...). One of these days I'll have a heart-felt, joyful response...but not today :)

And the winner is....

Here are your random numbers:

158
Timestamp: 2008-02-02 16:16:16 UTC


So the winner is TX Mom! Congrats!

Thankful Thursday--Compassion

I am very tired tonight--H&H haven't slept through the night all week, and being up for an hour or two in the night is just something I'm not up to right now. So I figured I'd go with Iris's theme for Thankful Thursday this week--compassion. Then I thought, no, I should make myself do the next chapter of Colossians...and lo and behold, compassion showed up there too!! Funny how God works that out... :)

Colossians 3:11-15

Here there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.

Thanks that we live in a society that we don't even fully know what it means to be Greek or Jew, Scythian, slave or free.

Praise be to God that he doesn't discriminate based upon nationality, outward appearance, position in society. Thanks for my experiences in graduate school, living and working with a diverse group of people (ok, so we were all smart) so that I could learn how much skin color doesn't matter. Thanks for the research exchange to Korea, so I could learn what it means to be a stranger in a strange land.

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

Thanks for choosing us, God! Thanks for the compassion that Jesus modelled--he didn't just see need, but he had compassion, sending out his disciples to shepherd them, heal them, and fed them. Thanks for organizations such as Compassion International that raise our awareness of needs around the world and give us an opportunity to make a difference.

Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Thanks that you forgive us! The previous verse is so convicting--how many times have I not had compassion, been kind, shown humility, used gentle words, and been patient?? Too many to tell. Thank you for friendships that survive the years and the instances of forgiveness.

And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.

Thanks for Patrick and the rest of our extended family. Thanks that you loved us to send your Son, even when we didn't deserve it. Thanks for marriage, and the opportunity to show and receive that same kind of love, sometimes on a daily basis.

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace.

Thanks for peace amid the storm, the kind of peace that can only come from you. Thanks that our church distinguishes between the fundamentals of the faith and the things that Christians can disagree about, and promotes unity and peace in the body.

And be thankful.

Thanks for all the ways you've blessed us this week. Thanks for protection from the storm, a warm house, and provision beyond our needs. Thanks for working things out exactly as Patrick envisioned them for his job. Thanks for computers, and that I don't have to do our taxes by hand (I wish I could be thankful that they were done, but maybe next week!)

Wordless Wednesday--Henry's Lego creation

Yes, Henry (age 5) built this totally yourself...

Learning to play the game

Henry and Harmony got some new games for Christmas--Henry got Electronic Battleship, and Connect 4 (in a cool travel case) was a present for both of them.

They love both games. Henry was begging to play Battleship this morning, and again the instant we walked in the door. His favorite part is the exploding sound when you have a hit.

Unfortunately, they don't really know how to play either game. I need to do all the setup for the Battleship (which is more complicated than I expected), and he's not good at putting the pegs in the grid to mark where he's shot. He also likes to move his ships around, which isn't bad when you're playing a computer, but very confusing otherwise. Connect 4 is a similar story--so far they think the main objective is to fill the grid with the disks, and turn taking is a challenge.

Once again, I'm more like my kids than I'd like to admit. While spiritual life isn't a game, sometimes I think I've missed part of the point. The verse to consider in our devotional today is John 10:10: "I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly." The accompanying passage in "Naturally Supernatural" talked about this--that somehow Christians have made Christianity about the future, "when we get to heaven."

But there is definitely Biblical support for God intervening in the here and now--He loves us just the way we are, but loves us enough to not just leave us where we are. The "abundantly" in the verse above is perissos, which means "over and above, more than is necessary; exceeding abundantly, supremely; superior, extraordinary, surpassing, uncommon." I don't view God as a candy machine who will give us whatever we want if we just push the right buttons, but He is our loving Father who WANTS to give his kids good gifts, Matthew 7:9-11 makes it clear.

So one thing I'm learning is to act like those things are true--that our faith DOES make a difference in the here and now, and that God likes to answer his children's prayers.


God, grow our faith!

Bloggy Giveaway--$13 Starbucks gift card

Generosity is a great thing! Rocks in My Dryer is hosting a Bloggy Give-Away Carnival Until February 1st--so far there are over 500 participants, so there is probably a giveaway for you!

This giveaway is for a $13 Starbucks gift card. I'm not sure how it ended up being that amount--it was a gift, I don't drink coffee and there isn't a Starbucks in my town. So it just seems right to share the caffeine with someone else!

To enter the contest, post a comment on this thread and include an e-mail address if you don't have a blogger id. I'll use a random number generator on February 2nd to select the winner. This contest is limited to US residents--I can put an envelope in the mail, but I don't think I could figure out international postage!

So if you're feeling the need for caffeine, enter below!

THIS CONTEST IS OVER. THE WINNER IS TX MOM.

Eagles Wings

Today Henry and I went with some friends from church to an Eagle viewing day at a power plant about an hour away. Security was tight--there were police officers and trained dogs inspecting the cars. It was pretty cool--the American Eagle Foundation did a "Birds of Prey" show, and showed several different types of birds, including owls, vultures, falcons, hawks, and eagles. We got there shortly before the show started, but were lucky to get seats fairly far up. When they walked the birds through the aisles and had some of them fly from one trainer to the other, they went basically to our aisle and stopped, so we had a fairly good view. Afterwards, we took a bus ride to a viewing site, and saw a couple of eagles across the river, in a tree.

While it was fun to see the birds in their natural habitat, it was cold and unimpressive to a five year old--all they did was sit in the tree. They did have hot chocolate and cookies at the next bus stop, as well as reasonably priced (!) souvenirs. Henry really wanted a shirt, and I also got an stuffed animal eagle, initially for Harmony...but Henry has completely claimed it as his own. He brought it to his bath tonight(to hunt for fish in the tub) and made a nest for it out of an upside down pirate hat, lined with one of Harmony's baby blankets.

It got me thinking about the analogy between the eagles we saw today and our faith, especially in the context of our Life Group discussion on Thursday. The birds we got to see up close and personal were ones that couldn't make it in the wild--either they had been so permanently injured that they wouldn't survive (such as Oseola, who lost a wing due to a gunshot wound) or they had imprinted with humans and lost their ability to hunt and make wise decisions about people. The ones that were free and able to hunt were far off and distant--I couldn't see them with my naked eye or even the binoculars I borrowed from another friend, and even if I had, I'm not sure I would have known they were eagles. And Henry's eagle was just a toy, a plaything under the command of a five year old.

All those eagles can be where our spiritual life is. Are you wounded so badly that you're living in captivity? Have you been so strongly imprinted that although you're healthy, you're stuck? Does God seem far off and distant, or just a plaything?

Personally, I think I've recovered from a spiritual "gunshot" wound over the course of the last year, and have been released back into the wild. The question is, can I remember how to feed myself? Can I figure out how to fly with a different wing?

God wants us to soar! Isaiah 40:31 says, "But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." I think the key part of that is the first line--"those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength." To soar, you need to have hope, and have it in the right thing, or person--God, not your spouse, your job, your kids, or your stuff. It's probably not an instantaneous process--it takes a while to heal from the spiritual equivalent of a gunshot wound, but that doesn't mean healing doesn't come. You can be freed from the imprinting of this world--Romans 12:2 makes that clear. And if God seems far off or that he's just using you as a plaything (or vice versa), there's no better way to learn about Him than an up close and personal encounter--seek that out.

Thanks, Lord, for making majestic creatures like eagles. Thank you that we can soar when we put our hope in you.

Thankful Thursday

This week our Life Group is starting “Naturally Supernatural” by Gary Best. There is an accompanying Bible study, and the passage we’re studying this week is John 14:9-12:

Jesus answered: "Don't you know me, Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time? Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, 'Show us the Father'? Don't you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you are not just my own. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work. Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the miracles themselves. I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father.

What a challenging passage! But it gives me lots to be thankful for. So this week I’m thankful for:

--Our Life Group—that it’s a safe place for people to be known, to grow, to support each other and to be challenged. I pray for fruitful discussion tonight and the next six weeks, and similar discussions that are happening in other Life Groups.

--That Jesus came so that we could see the Father, not just with spiritual eyes but with physical ones. Thanks that he took on human flesh and knows our trials and weaknesses.

--That the Father is doing his work in us—that He loves us just as we are, yet remodels and shapes us if we’re willing and malleable.

--For real life miracles that do happen, both small and personal as well as big and global.

--That God chooses to use us to show himself to the world and as his change agents…if we’re willing to be the cracked vessels he shines through.

--Faith—what an amazing and awesome gift. May we grow in it through this study.

--That God’s promises are true—that He will continue to do amazing things in us and through us.

And thanks to Iris for hosting Thankful Thursday! What a joy it is to read how God has been working in everyone’s lives!

Wordless Wednesday

I have no idea what he did...it's just what I found in the shower! Ask Henry, I guess...

Top Ten Tuesday--Predictions for 2008

I got this in an e-mail...

Top Ten Predictions for 2008

1. The Bible will still have all the answers.
2. Prayer will still work.
3. The Holy Spirit will still move.
4. God will still inhabit the praises of His people.
5. There will still be God-anointed preaching.
6. There will still be singing of praise to God.
7. God will still pour out blessings upon His people.
8. There will still be room at the Cross.
9. Jesus will still love you.
10. Jesus will still save the lost.

Melodic Mondays

Right now, the most common words I hear from my kids are "Play with me!" --usually both at the same time, while both telling me stories. While mind boggling at times, I love that they want to spend time with me--a few more years, and they'd rather be with their friends.

So the songs I've been singing this week is "Time in a Bottle" by Jim Croce...we sang it in high school choir (am I dating myself??). They're not a perfect fit, but I'd be saving up these days for later...

If I could save time in a bottle
The first thing that Id like to do
Is to save every day
Till eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you

If I could make days last forever
If words could make wishes come true
Id save every day like a treasure and then,
Again, I would spend them with you

But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
Ive looked around enough to know
That youre the one I want to go
Through time with

If I had a box just for wishes
And dreams that had never come true
The box would be empty
Except for the memory
Of how they were answered by you

But there never seems to be enough time
To do the things you want to do
Once you find them
Ive looked around enough to know
That youre the one I want to go
Through time with

Parenting insecurities

Today we had a guest preacher at church, Jim Egli (thanks, Jonell!). He gave a great sermon about the phases of life of a Christian, and challenged us to keep growing. It was a great sermon, and lots of people came up for prayer afterwards, including me.

He outlined the phases of life, including supporting scriptures to be:
-- Baby
-- Teenager
-- Parent
-- Grandparent

A "baby" is a new Christian, whose only job is to grow. A teenager's job is to start taking responsibility. If you find yourself saying, "I can do that better," then God is probably calling you to do it (better is another question). A parent's job is to reproduce--to nurture spiritual babies and teens into parenthood. And a grandparent's job is to lead the leaders of the church.

As someone in the parent phase of life, both literally and spiritually, all I can say is it's draining. I was having "life group insecurity" last night, saying how much I stink at it and how others in our group should be the ones leading...one of them has a "day job" of being a spriritual grandparent, and another couple were "parents" at another church. So our group is well past the age of bottles and diapers, which you'd think would be easier, but I think it leads to greater feelings of parental insecurity. But it's where God put us for now...if we manage to grow by a couple more couples, we may be ready to "multiply" next summer, and maybe those leaders will be leading. So until then, I'll keep to the task in front of us...

And you never know who God is gonna use

The chorus of one of my favorite Rich Mullins songs goes:
And you never know who God is gonna use
A princess or a baby
Or maybe even you or me

I was amazed to see that in action on my trip. I was traveling with a lapsed reformed Presbyterian and an atheist. You wouldn't expect God conversations to happen, but they did.

As we were driving there, we talked about the atheist's daughter choosing a college--she's chosen a Christian school and has been attending a non-denominational church with a friend! Praise God :) It was interesting to hear him describe the Holy Spirit at work without using that term--but it's easy to see in action.

Then the lapsed reformed Presbyterian said they had started going to an Episcopalian (sp?) church and was singing in the choir. I don't want to get into a big discussion about denominations, but I'm happy to hear that he's moving towards God.

Finally, the school we were visiting was named after a major player in the reformation. After seeing a statue of the guy, we had a long discussion about the Heidelberg Catechism...every time we were in the car. The reformed presbyterian was telling about the principles and things he had learned as a teen in Catechism--directed to the atheist, who was interested and asking questions. Too cool!

The amazing thing to me was that the only conversation I started was "so, has your daughter chosen a college?" Now, I don't know that I'd meet either of these colleagues in heaven if Jesus came back tomorrow, but it was encouraging to see God working in their lives, and with their families, especially since they're heavy hitting academic types.

Guess it totally reinforced the Veggie Tales movie we saw on Thursday!

Thanks, Lord, that you're moving in ways we don't even know about, and that someday every knee will bow and every tongue confess that Jesus is Lord!

Thankful Thursday

So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness. Colossians 2:6-7

I give thanks for all the wonderful things we are IN CHRIST--read Collosians 2:6-13 and look for all the "in Christs".

I'm thankful for safe travel. The last two times I've traveled for this type of work I've had a missed miscarriage (the date the babies stopped developing) and a miscarriage. This time the only medical thing happening is a painful ingrown hair.

I'm thankful for my wonderful husband--Happy 40th birthday yesterday!

I'm thankful to be able to explore the administrative side of college life and how other institutions work.

I'm glad to be home.

Wordless Wednesday--the slumber party while we're gone

If you want to read more about their adventure, visit my amazing friend Jen. Thanks for the picture, Jen!

Top Ten Tuesdays--things I love and hate about traveling for work

So I'm cheating--I've got two lists today

10 things I love about traveling for work:
1. I get to take a long, relaxing bath...and someone else cleans the tub!
2. The chance to work with very bright people and learn from them
3. Cable TV--Harry Potter is on :)
4. The chance to eat foods not found in my town--Monday night was sushi and Korean food
5. Free frequent flyer miles
6. Time to process and pray
7. Opportunities to see how other schools work
8. Chances to network with like minded people
9. An uninterrupted night sleep
10. The chance to improve education for potentially thousands of students, not just the fifty or so I meet with in classes each semester

5 things I don't like about traveling for work:
1. Missing the kids and Patrick
2. Being the most junior person in the room, and wondering what exactly I bring to the table
3. Missing my classes, especially at the beginning of the semester
4. Having to ask others for help
5. Trying to figure out how to get the room to a comfortable temperature

Melodic Mondays--Tickle my toes by Justin Roberts

We've been singing this song a lot lately--we had morning snuggle/tickle fests both on Saturday and Sunday morning. It's from the Yellow Bus CD--we haven't found one of his CDs yet that hasn't been a hit! The lyrics and chords can be found at http://www.justinrobertsmusic.com/music_bus.php

Tickle My Toes
Momma don't you tickle, don't you tickle my toes
Momma don't you tickle my ticklish toes
Momma don't you tickle, don't you tickle my toes
Momma don't you tickle my ticklish toes

And don't play this little piggy went to that little town
While the other little piggies were just fooling around
This little piggy something to eat
That little piggy just a tickle just a tickle my feet

Momma don't you tickle, don't you tickle my toes
Momma don't you tickle my ticklish toes
Momma don't you tickle, don't you tickle my toes
Momma don't you tickle my ticklish toes

Don't tickle my tummy, nose my ankle my thigh
Momma don't ya tickle my ticklish eye
whatever you do watch the knee
and momma don't tickle my ticklish ticklish feet

Momma don't you tickle, don't you tickle my toes
Momma don't you tickle my ticklish toes
Momma don't you tickle, don't you tickle my toes
Momma don't you tickle my ticklish toes

And don't tickle me there
You know mama I think I've had my fair share
Why don't we give someone else a chance in the ticklish seat
Like let's say sis over there, you know she's got those really nice feet

Momma don't you tickle, don't you tickle my toes
Momma don't you tickle my ticklish toes
Momma don't you tickle, don't you tickle my toes
Momma don't you tickle my ticklish toes

Speeding warning

I got pulled over Saturday night--I was late for something, driving on an unfamiliar road, and both kids were talking at me while the radio was blaring. 49 in a 40...luckily the police officer gave me a warning.

I think we need a spiritual speeding warning--our life has been going too fast this weekend, and I definitely felt it on Saturday--thus the speeding. The kids had friends over Friday night (actually relaxing), then on Saturday we ran a bunch of errands (which took longer than planned), then made some meals at a friend's house, dropped Patrick off at a worship team get together while the kids and I went to another friends house (and got the speeding warning en route), and got home too late for needing to be at first service.

The question is always what should go?

Lord, help us give our calendar and to do lists to you for editing first...

Substitutions

Last night I made craisin white chocolate chip oatmeal cookies for life group. One person in our group needs to be on a low fat diet, so I was going to substitute applesauce for half the butter. But...we didn't have any applesauce, so I used low fat cream cheese instead. Then I didn't have any oatmeal, so I used crushed cornflakes. And the white chocolate chips? Gone, so I used butterscotch chips instead.

The cookies turned out ok, but nothing like the recipe I was trying to make. If I had thought about it (or realized it before the craisins were already in) I could have used dried cherries and chocolate chips...then it would have been cherry chocolate chip cheesecake cookies :)

It made me wonder--are there places in my life where I'm substituting something for Jesus?

Lord, search me and show me any places where I'm substituting something worldly in your place.

Thankful Thursday

Di Lehman from the Champaign Vineyard gave a really powerful powerful sermon at our church using Colossians. I had forgotten how much I love Colossians, so I picked it back up as the text I've been studying in depth. How rich it is! So Colossians 1:3-8 is the basis for my Thankful Thursday this week..

We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, because we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love you have for all the saints—
Thanks for the prayer warriors who are out there, praying for me and I don't even know it. Thanks that faith and love go together--if we truly have faith, we will show it in our actions. And thanks for the friends who show this in amazing ways in our everyday lives--loving our kids like their own and being just awesome friends. The most amazing thing that's happened since we've been back from sabbatical is that we have friends--something we would have had a hard time saying five years ago, and especially ten years ago when we first moved here.

the faith and love that spring from the hope that is stored up for you in heaven and that you have already heard about in the word of truth, the gospel that has come to you.
Thanks that you give us hope, and thanks for the amazing renewal of my spirit that has happened over the last three weeks. Thanks for pastors that speak your truth in love, proclaiming the gospel in ways we can understand. Thanks for Christian radio stations that enrich our travels and our days, and the Christian artists who dedicate their lives to praising you and leading us into worship.

All over the world this gospel is bearing fruit and growing, just as it has been doing among you since the day you heard it and understood God's grace in all its truth. You learned it from Epaphras, our dear fellow servant, who is a faithful minister of Christ on our[c] behalf, 8and who also told us of your love in the Spirit.
Thanks for the persecuted Church, and I pray for their protection tonight. Thanks that the darkness will not overcome your light. May seeds that have been sown be watered and take root in fertile soil. Thanks especially for our friends who are missionaries, both here and abroad, especially Carol, who was so instrumental in my learning to study the Word for myself and who is now in the Ukraine.

This week I am also especially thankful that school has started and I am back in the classroom! I had forgotten how much I love, love, love teaching--it is definitely a ministry, not a job, whereas the research I was doing last semester is not something I'm called to do (which God is making more and more obvious to me).

And thanks to Lynn at Spiritually Unequal Marriage for hosting this week! Please visit her to share your own thankfulness and to read other's.

I AM Bible study--Instrument of Wonders

The Preacher's Wife, Lisa, has an AWESOME Bible study for Women on the life of Moses called I AM. If you haven't checked it out yet, please do! I am (ha, ha, get it?) on lesson eight, Instrument of Wonders, which is looking at the beginning of Exodus 4.

Moses begins a litany of "yes buts"--but what if they don't believe me, but I'm not an eloquent speaker, PLEASE send someone else...as one prone to yes-buts, I have complete sympathy for Moses. God met addressed his every concern, but by the end was losing patience. My favorite one is the first one--God tells Moses to throw down his staff. It turns into a serpent, a symbol of power in Egypt, and Moses runs away! From his OWN staff! God tells him to pick it up by the tail, and it turns back into a staff. Very cool. By not running away from his "problem", it goes back to being a plain ol' piece of wood.

It's also interesting to look at the progresion--first Moses says others won't accept him, then he says he isn't well enough equipped, and then he finally cuts to the chase and says, PLEASE choose someone else! Moses would rather continue herding sheep in the desert than do what the Lord God has equipped him to do--no wonder God's anger burns against him. One thing that shows me is that if God asks me to do it, He will take care of preparing other people's hearts and He will equip me--I just need to be willing to accept the assignment. Although I'm sure I'd be scared and nervous, I'd rather deal with people's reactions than with God's anger burning against me!

I bet part of Moses's unwillingness to go is that he had already tried to save his people--and was totally unsuccessful. Not only did he not succeed, he was rejected by the Israelites themselves. And now God was sending him right back, to the same place. That's a pretty big piece of humble pie to swallow. But God knew that--and I'm sure that contributed to Moses's humility, there was no mistaking that saving Israel was God's doing, not Moses'.

And God has not only empowered Moses to pick up the serpent (our old problems we'd rather run from than face), he's empowered us, too. 1 John 2:14 says, "I have written to you young men, because you are strong, and the Word of God abides in you, and you have overcome the evil one." That's pretty cool! I can't think of any situations I'm avoiding or running from, and I'm trying to be better about just saying "Yes, Lord" instead of "yes, but..." but this lesson was a good reminder of how God does use us, ESPECIALLY in our weaknesses and failures.

Top ten reasons I shouldn't have a cell phone...

I have a disposable cell phone, the $1/day you use it, $0.10/min to "non plan" people, free to other AT&T cellular users, kind. So if you don't have Cingular/AT&T, I probably won't call you...in fact, I think I've called a grand total of three people on my cell phone, and two of them are Patrick and the preschool director.

Today confirmed that I shouldn't have a cell phone--even though there were two occasions when I could have used it wisely (traveling to Indy alone and going to the grocery store), I managed to do several things on this top ten list...in one day!

So without further ado, the top 10 reasons I shouldn't have a cell phone:
10. I forget it at home.
9. When I bring it with me, it isn't charged.
8. I regularly lose the charger.
7. When it is charged, I forget to turn it on.
6. When it's on, it's on vibrate and I don't hear it in my purse.
5. When I put it in my pocket, I still don't feel it.
4. When I turn the ringer on, I can't find it.
3. When I do find it, it's already gone to voice mail...
2. Which I don't have set up or know how to get to.
1. And if I manage to do all of the above...there is no signal.

For a more substantial top 10 list, check out Jen's blog. If you have a top ten today, please post a link in the comments!

A Day in the life...

Kathleen Marie is organizing "A Day in the Life" today, Monday January 7th. It can be a story about a day, or a typical day, or the blow by blow...I'm doing a typical Monday, since this Monday is a wierd one (school hasn't started yet and I have a doctor's appt). We'll need to be adjusting these times, since I'm teaching at 8 am on Tuesday/Thursday this semester, and preschool now starts at 8:30, not 9! But it is what Mondays will look like this semester...

7:30 alarm goes off; press snooze but the cat won't have it--even though she has plenty of food, she wants some pets by her bowl before she eats. Potty break and a few minutes to collect my head
7:45 Get Henry up--we usually snuggle for a few minutes before he gets out of bed. Help him get started on breakfast.
7:55 Repeat with Harmony.
8:10 Eat my breakfast while packing kids' and my lunches
8:25 Get myself dressed; encourage kids to dress themselves (clothes laid out the night before)
8:35 Brush my teeth; try to get Harmony to do her own, but I usually end up doing it.
8:45 Put on coats and head to the car...somehow this always takes longer than it should
9:00 drop off at preschool; hang out there for 15 minutes
9:15 park car at home; grab my lunch, gym bag and school stuff and head to work
9:30 check e-mail, read daily Bible reading and do memory verse
9:45 Work...write lectures, grade papers (usually doesn't happen at work), do research in lab (won't probably happen on Mondays this semester, but maybe Thursday afternoons), look for stuff, set up labs, write letters of recommendation, meet with students
11:10 teach class until 12:10
12:10 talk to students after class, drop my stuff back in my office (and hopefully file it appropriately!) and head to the gym; stop by office and check my mail on the way
12:30 Run
1:00 cool down; shower and head back to the office
1:20 inhale (I mean eat) lunch--usually a Lean Cuisine, leftovers, or whatever the kids are eating
1:45 Set up lab stuff for Tuesday's labs; office hours; grading papers; getting lecture ready for tommorow morning; committe work; advising students; meeting with speakers and/or faculty candidates
4:00 Every other Monday--go and pick up the kids; get them an "appetizer" (usually fruits or veggies); play outside or inside; start dinner
The other Mondays--Faculty meeting until 5:30; Patrick does pickup on these days
5:45 dinner (either out or leftovers on the weeks I have faculty meeting)
6:20 clean up kitchen
6:30 read mail, play with kids, meet a friend at the park or the gym with the kids
7:30 bathtime for the kids; one has a snack while the other is in the tub
8:00 bedtime snack for the kids; brush teeth and potty break too
8:15 story time
8:45 prayer time; lay with kids for a few minutes
9:00 Us leave room; Henry pops out to go potty and try to get "bonus time"
9:15 Patrick meet Charlie to walk, talk and pray; I talk to Jenn on the phone :) or grade papers, write lectures, and do all the stuff that generally doesn't done
10:00 Clean up from evening; lay out clothes for morning, other household errands
11:00 check e-mail and read blogs; post my own
12:00 head to bed

This is a "no extras" Monday--Patrick will have City Council meetings 2 of 4 Mondays per month, and I often have a committee meeting at 1:30 on Mondays (we'll see when it is this semester). Oh yea, and one of the 2 Mondays that Patrick doesn't have City Council, we have small group leader meeting, so that will wipe out the 6:00 to 8:45 time block.

One year later...

A year ago I found out I was pregnant. What a year! I've learned a lot and grown a lot, and I'm glad to say the "downs" aren't as far down as they were. I never imagined that a year later, I wouldn't have a new child in my life--even after the miscarriage I was pretty confident that I'd be pregnant again by my due date, or at least by the end of the year. I've grown into the idea that we might only have two kids in our family, that Emily's vision of God putting something that was too big for me into his giant dryer and shrinking it to be just right (at a time when I was wearing a pair of Patrick's jeans because mine were too small, the weekend before the first US where we found out things weren't going well), was probably about our family size. We've been blessed with two awesome kids, and I don't want to miss anything because I'm living in the land of "what could have beens".

But it stung last night when an unnamed friend told me she was pregnant and my period arrived within 10 minutes of each other. I can handle them separately, together, not so well. I'm glad I found out directly from the person, but I pretty much shut down the rest of the evening. So if you're that person, sorry if our conversation seemed surface-y. It somehow triggered this whole cascade of only-ifs...only if I hadn't fixed Harmony's broken butterfly wing on her ring holder and spilled superglue on my fingers, maybe I wouldn't have miscarried in October (even though I can find no link between superglue and miscarriage). Only if...you name it. There's a point where you just have to rebuke that thinking, and say, no, God knows the plans he has for us, plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. I'm just feeling sympathy for Sarah, Hannah and Elizabeth...though I have the advantage of having two great living kids. (That's the other "get over yourself" reminder...I don't live in a society where my worth is decided by my reproductive prowess, and I HAVE two kids! Many people don't have any!)

So I don't know what those plans God has for us are, but I do know that He has them, and that they're supposed to give me hope, so I will put my hope in the Lord...and love and enjoy the great kids I already have.

Thankful Thursday--New beginnings

From Psalm 90:14-17:
Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,
that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.
Thank you, Lord, that your mercies are new every morning and that they do not fail. Thank you for the power of prayer; thanks that you were faithful to answer our prayers for renewed joy for me. Patrick mentioned earlier in the week that my mental health seems much better--and it is! Thanks, Summer, for praying with me--God totally answered that one!

Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us,
for as many years as we have seen trouble.
Thank you for all the lessons you taught me this last year--about faith and prayer and trust and hope. Thanks for David and Job, and how they so elegantly expressed the range of emotions we feel.

May your deeds be shown to your servants,
your splendor to their children.
Thank you for your servants, especially those who willingly and happily serve others. Thanks for our children, and all the things they teach us about you.

May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us;
establish the work of our hands for us—
yes, establish the work of our hands.
Thank you for the new year and all the great things you will do this year. Thank you for my job and the opportunities you give me to show you to others. Thanks for our Children's ministry and how its grown this last year. You have been so faithful in drawing families to you and raising up workers; we look forward what you'll do at RVC this year! Thanks for the opportunity to teach in Children's Church and help plan out the curriculum--I think I learn as much from Kid's Church as I do from the adult version!

And thanks to Iris for hosting Thankful Thursday this week! Visit her to read more or to share your own Thankful Thursday!

Wordless Wednesday--the trip home from holiday celebrations

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year, everyone! I'm not big into resolutions, but I do have goals for the next year.

1. Corny, but the first one is the old Nike slogan--Just Do It. Instead of letting the mail pile up, deal with it when it comes in. Put away the laundry when its done, not when I need the baskets to do laundry again. Grade stuff as soon as it comes in, not later. Pray for or with someone at the moment when I first sense that I should, not later. In other words, just do it.

2. Take better care of me. Go to bed at a reasonable time (I'm pushing it tonight!), eat as healthy as my kids do, get exercise on a regular basis.

Nothing earth shattering, but hopefully doable!

Top Ten Tuesdsays--My favorite posts from 2007

I was using my blog to try to re-create the year for H&H's journals, and I found some posts I should probably read again...and again :)From most recent to oldest, here they are:


10. mom, I need my own light
9. Sherpa mom
8. Cleaning windows
7. When God says no
6. What's my title?
5. Ever wanted God to talk to you in an audible voice?
4. The waiting place
3.Breaking down the walls
2. Saying grace, part 1
1. How does your garden grow?

What's on your top 10 posts for 2007 list?

I need my own light

Tonight the Henry, Harmony and I biked, triked and walked to the place where I had my oil changed to pick up my car, about a half mile away. It was after dinner, so I brought a flashlight. I shone (shined? what's the grammar here?) it ahead of the kids, but Henry tended to ride faster than my lightbeam, and at one point he yelled back,

"Mom, I need my own light. Yours isn't bright enough."

So I gave him the flashlight, and he figured out a way to hold it and ride.

About a block from our destination, one of his training wheels fell off. Henry has had the bike since he turned four, and has constantly had issues with the training wheels--one of them tends to slide down, and he ends up with a trainer bike instead of a training bike. We tried taking them off after his 5th birthday, but despite his highly skilled riding, he was scared and wanted them back on, so we obliged. But now, the training wheels are worn out--it's not that a screw came loose, the hole in the wheel has worn so big that the bolt no longer holds it to the frame of the bike. So one way or another, we're done with training wheels.

It was a spiritually revealing trip. First, my light isn't going to shine bright enough to equip either of my children to find their way--they need the light themselves. Second, it's time to start taking the spiritual training wheels off for Henry. While Henry and Harmony both enjoy hearing Bible stories and have memorized various Bible verses, and Henry in particular has confessed faith in a very Henry way ("I wanna be on God's team!" and all kinds of variations), it's time for us to make a more concerted effort at writing God's word in their hearts and applying it to their lives, so they can have their own light and use it to walk with Jesus. Tonight Henry was excited when I talked about working together to memorize Bible verses in the new year, and we'll be adding a daily devotional for kids to our nightly routine.

So any suggestion for a set of Bible verses to start with? Or a fun but relevant devotional for kids?

Thankful Thursday meets Melodic Monday

I was working on the kids' journals last night. Unfortunately I'm six months behind, so I have to rely upon my calendar, picture files (some of which have the wrong dates), blog, and rusty memory to try and reconstruct what they were doing in July. (One of my resolutions is to get caught up and stay that way!)

It was fun going back through the year, and all I could do is marvel at what God has been doing in all of our lives. It made me appreciate just how huge, yet how intimate our God is--not only does he weave together the minor intricacies of our lives, like providing daily bread, but He also has a picture of how it all fits together.

It made me think of one of my favorite Justin Roberts songs, Where were you? and the related passages in Job (Chapters 38-41):

Where were you when I laid the earth's foundations,
Where were you when I set the stars in place and they all sang together
and they all sang together up in space

Where were you when I filled the seas and oceans
Where were you when I locked them in the land
And the all sang together
And they all sang together on the sand

Where were you when I formed the ancient atoms (as a chemist, my fave line)
Where were you when I fashioned life a home
and it all sang together
And it all sang together on the foam

Where were you when I set the leopard running
Where were you when I taught the birds their songs
And they all sang together
And the yall sang together in that bright and brilliant dawn

Allelu, allelu, alleluia (x3)
Where were you

So God, today I'm in awe of you--that you know the intimate details of each and every hair on my head, yet see the larger picture of how it all works together. You brought me to the beginning of Job last March, and now you've brought me to the end of it (with some study in between). And all I can do in response is say how awesome you are, and join with the chorus of everything else you've made in singing your praise--Allelu, allelu, alleluia!

Where angels fear tread...

...our living room floor! Between the legos, Playmobil pieces, army (well, police) guys, dinosaurs, polly pockets, and game pieces from the Mickey game set, bare feet are in trouble at our house....

Melodic Mondays/favorite Christmas memories

I sang in choir all four years of college. The Christmas Concert was a huge production--four choirs plus the orchestra, everything from memory, exact choreography for choirs moving from in the audience to up front and changing places; four home concerts and two in another city. It was (and still is) recorded and played around the country on a PBS station near you. We were highly trained, and if you fell out of line, Gordon would come and tell you never to touch your face again :)

My senior year I was in the Concert choir--one of the last one picked, but in it nonetheless. The Concert Choir started on stage---everyone else was stationed around the perimeter (my first year I passed out standing in the aisle waiting to start...another story :)). The other choirs processed to the front during the first congregational hymn, Oh come, all ye faithful. That is also when they let the latecomers come in.

At the early (5:30) on-the-road show, they opened the doors for the latecomers as we hit the chorus: it was as if they had heard us beckoning them to come and adore him. I still get choked up every time we sing the song:


O come, all ye faithful,
Joyful and triumphant,
O come ye, O come ye to Bethlehem;
Come and behold him
Born the King of angels;

Chorus:
O come, let us adore him,
O come, let us adore him,
O come, let us adore him,
Christ the Lord.

God of God, Light of Light;
Lo, he abhors not the Virgin's womb:
Very God, Begotten, not created;

Chorus

Sing, choirs of angels;
Sing in exultation,
Sing, all ye citizens of heaven above;
Glory to God in the highest;

Chorus

Yea, Lord, we greet thee,
Born this happy morning:
Jesus, to thee be glory given;
Word of the Father,
Late in flesh appearing;

Chorus

1 Corinthians 13 for Christmas

A friend sent me this, and it's so awesome that I had to share. She found it at http://holyexperience.blogspot.com/2007/12/christmas-1-corinthians-13.html--the original is published on December 23, 2004 on this thread.

1 Corinthians 13 for Christmas
by Sharon Jaynes

If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows,
strands of twinkling lights and shiny balls,
but do not show love to my family,
I'm just another decorator.

If I slave away in the kitchen,
baking dozens of Christmas cookies,
preparing gourmet meals and arranging
a beautifully adorned table at mealtime:
but do not show love to my family,
I'm just another cook.

If I work at a soup kitchen,
carol in the nursing home,
and give all that I have to charity;
but do not show love to my family,
it profits me nothing.

If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels
and crocheted snowflakes,
attend a myriad of holiday parties
and sing in the choir's cantata
but do not focus on Christ,
I have missed the point.

Love stops the cooking to hug the child.
Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the spouse.
Love is kind, though harried and tired.
Love does not envy another's home
that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens.

Love does not yell at the kids to get out of the way,
but is thankful they are there to be in the way.
Love does not give only to those who are able
to give in return; but rejoices in giving
to those who cannot.

Love bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things, and endures all things.
Love never fails.

Video games will break,
pearl necklaces will be lost,
golf clubs will rust,
but giving the gift of love will endure.

Friday Funny

Overhead conversation about birthday presents:
Henry: I know what I'm getting you for your birthday.
Harmony: What?
Henry: A music box, like at Grandmas. Except when you open it, it TOOTS. And it stinks, just like your toots.
(Hysterical laughing from both children--Harmony toots a lot, and it tends to be loud...and stinky!)

Christmas cards

Christmas cards from friends have been rolling in--most have pictures, and a few have letters. I sent out round 1 (don't think anything bad if you weren't in round 1--I brought a very short list with me to the funeral!) last week--there was a picture, but no letter. Here's the picture Patrick picked from three possibilities I showed him:


What I love about this picture is that it's so representative of our year. While we all have smiling faces, my sunglasses hide my eyes (and much of what's happened mentally in the last year). And we were being attacked by a swarm of flying, biting ants, so we were all saying "hurry up and take the picture so we can get back in the car!"

So I wonder, what's really happening in the lives of all the smiling, wearing their Christmas best families that we see in the pictures?

God's Christmas letter tells it pretty straight--a pregnancy before marriage, the hushed and hurried wedding that probably happened before the birth, a long trip on a donkey, a birth in a stinky barn, with a bunch of probably stinkier shepherds as visitors. Yet Mary pondered these things in her heart, and proclaimed the majesty of her God who ministers to the poor and lowly.


Lord, I thank you for the blessing of friends, and I pray for the things unseen and the stories not told in their Christmas letters. Thanks that you came not to the rich and mighty, but to the poor and lowly, and that you promise great things to the hungry, meek, and poor in spirit.

Thankful Thursday, part 2

I've got a lot to be thankful for!! I'd like to share how God has provided in just awesome ways this week...

--Yesterday I was at "what in the world can I make for dinner with broccoli, bbq sauce, stale bread and old evaporated milk" when a package arrived from my uncle...which was an abundance of goodies, including a ham! H&H LOVE ham, so we had quite the feast!

--Today I was thinking that I need to call my GI doctor and try to reschedule my appointment, because I'll be out of town the day I'm scheduled for. I had to reschedule my July appt, and the first available slot was this one, six months later, so I had some trepidation about this. Instead, I got a call from the nurse that my appt had been moved up a week, which worked out absolutely perfect.

So thanks, God, that you know my fridge and my calendar!

Thankful Thursday

I have been out of town for the last two Thankful Thursdays, and I definitely missed them!!! Lysa TerKeurst had a great devotional at Proverbs31.org the other day on Daniel and how to get out of the pit of self pity--thanksgiving. She said it better than I, so please go and read it...and sign up for the devotionals to be delivered to your mailbox while you're at it!

Today I am thankful for:

--Mary's joyful obedience. The promise of pregnancy outside of wedlock was definitely not on Mary's "things I have planned for my life" yet her response was "I am the Lord's servant, may it be to me as you have said." Wow. I have a hard time being willing to do much smaller things. And she didn't even do it grudgingly, she did it with great joy--her song in Luke 1:46-55 is one of my favorites--we sang an arrangement in my college choir that was just amazing (track eight).

--Emmanuel, God is with us. He didn't come as a king to lord over us, but as a tiny baby to dwell with us. And now, he's not only with us, he is IN us, as promised in Colossians 1:27. He's closer than our very breath, we just have to slow down enough to listen.

--All the times that God (or an angel) tells people "Do not be afraid"--and then makes a great promise. In just the Christmas story, Joseph, Zechariah, Mary, and the shepherds all heard the promise. And I love the reasons to not be afraid--it's the Holy Spirit, your prayers have been heard, you have found favor with God, and there is great news for everyone. What great reasons to not be afraid!

And thanks to Lynn for hosting Thankful Thursday this week! What are you thankful for?

Wordless Wednesday--Ice storm problem

Top Ten things that we need after coming back from vacation

10. Clean laundry
9. Groceries
8. Sidewalk and driveway shoveled (we did get that done)
7. Snacks to share at preschool tomorrow
6. Draft of lab manual for next semester
5. Decorations up, or at least located
4. A cat who isn't acting like static cling, sitting on my arms while I type
3. Christmas cards to write themselves
2. A lab elf to run my experiment during a meeting tomorrow
1. A little Christmas spirit!

Yes, we're back...and I'm completely overwhelmed. The good news is that our house WAS cleaned by our fairy godmother--I forgot that I scheduled Matilde to come today, and she was patiently sorting through the disaster we left on Wednesday! Ahh, there is nothing like coming home to a clean house...

What's on your top ten list?

Melodic Monday: His Eye is on the sparrow

This one's for Grandma, it's been in my head all week:

His Eye is on the Sparrow by Civilla D. Martin, 1905

Why should I feel discouraged, why should the shadows come,
Why should my heart be lonely, and long for heaven and home,
When Jesus is my portion? My constant friend is He:
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

I sing because I'm happy,
I sing because I'm free,
For His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

"Let not your heart be troubled," His tender word I hear,
And resting on His goodness, I lose my doubts and fears;
Though by the path He leadeth, but one step I may see;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

I sing because I'm happy,
I sing because I'm free,
For His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

Whenever I am tempted, whenever clouds arise,
When songs give place to sighing, when hope within me dies,
I draw the closer to Him, from care He sets me free;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

I sing because I'm happy,
I sing because I'm free,
For His eye is on the sparrow,
And I know He watches me.

Wordless Wednesday--Nativity scene done by preschoolers

Mail crossing

I sent my grandmother a care package of Christmas cookies and candy last week--she didn't get it before she passed away. Meanwhile, she mailed us a check to shop for Christmas presents for ourselves--it arrived yesterday. I want to get the kids something they can keep to remember her. Any suggestions? I was thinking of a locket or cross necklace for Harmony, but I don't have any ideas for Henry...

Top Ten Tuesdays

The Top Ten things I love about my children:

10. How Harmony has learned to say "spoon" instead of "boon" and "scrape" instead of "grape"
9. Henry will play with his knights with rapt attention and great detail.
8. That they both like to crawl in and snuggle with us in the morning...even though it's sardines in our bed
7. Harmony uses BIG gestures and facial expressions when she talks.
6. Henry would eat an apple...or three...every day.
5. Harmony loves to play beautiful princess, complete with jewelry and makeup, even though I wear neither.
4. Henry likes to have his nail polished too...but just his toenails, so his buddies won't see it.
3. Harmony brings books to bed with her every night--they're one of her favorite things.
2. The little rituals they've created, like counting before we pray and the seatbelt song, that are unique to our family.
1. My kids have shown me such great things about God, prayer, love, grace, reaching others, and so many other things...

What's on your top ten list this week?

Home coming

Sorry for falling off of the blogosphere--we were on vacation in Chicago and didn't have internet. We had a great time, but a fuller description will need to wait. Coming home means a pile of laundry, no groceries, and lots of errands!

While we were there, my grandma had another kind of home coming. Mona Mae Holm went to be with her savior on Friday. She was 92 years old, and was talking about going home the last time I saw her. While I'm glad for her life and that she's with Jesus, we'll also miss her, and I'm sad that my kids won't get to know what a wonderful Christian woman she was. So I'll probably be dropping off the blogosphere again at the end of this week!

Wordless Wednesday: Santa, we have a problem...

Top Ten Tuesdays--Reasons to read your Bible

10. To know your King and Savior
9. To grow (1 Peter 2:2)
8. So you can claim the promises that are yours in Christ Jesus (2 Corinthians 1:20)
7. To see some awesome examples of faith (see Hebrews 11 for a start)
6. To be rooted and grounded in Him (Colossians 2:6-7)
5. So you can stand firm in the trials of life (lots of references!)
4. To know your marching orders
3. To avoid pitfalls
2. For more powerful prayer--what better thing is there to pray than God's own word?
1. Who doesn't love a good, well awesome, love letter?

What's on your top 10 this week?

Melodic Monday--Make me your instrument

Di Lehman from the Champaign Vineyard gave an awesome sermon at church this Sunday on escaping busy-ness. She didn't give a self-help book or five ways to be less busy, instead she pointed out the key to being "More than Conquerers" over all the things that bring us down is the mystery/secret that is revealed in Colossians 1:27--Christ is in you, the hope of glory!

I had forgotten how much I love Colossians. Before we went to New York on sabbatical, I was in a study on it, but I think I either quit or we moved before we even finished chapter two. I'm definitely picking that back up.

Back to Melodic Mondays--the Christ in You theme has had me singing this song by The Ragamuffin Band (Rich Mullin's band after he died):

Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace:
where there's hatred, let me sow love;
and where there is injury, pardon;
and where there is doubt, then faith;
and where there's despair, then hope.
It's in dying that I will be born,
and in giving that I will receive,
it's in loving that I will be loved,
this is my faith: it is what I believe.
Lord, make me an instrument.
Make me an instrument.
Lord, I am a stranger traveling
in a brutal yet wondrous land,
far from the promise of home,
on a journey, led by Your hand
to where the lion lies down with the lamb. Father, grant that I'd never seek
to be comforted as to console;
let the blood of Your Son cover me,
touching my spirit, seizing my soul,
Lord, make me an instrument.
Lord, make me an instrument.
Lord make me YOUR instrument.
Let Your divine mystery guide my heart:
it's in dying that I will be born,
and in giving that I will receive,
it's in loving that I will be loved;
this is my faith: it is what I believe.

Christ within me, Christ before me,
Christ behind me, Christ above me,
Christ beneath me, to my left and my right,
Christ where I lie and where I arise,
Christ in the hearts of all who think of me,
Christ on the lips of all who speak of me,
Christ in the eyes of all who see me---
make me Your instrument, Lord!
Make me Your instrument, Lord!
Make me Your instrument, Lord!
Make me Your instrument, Lord!
Make me Your instrument.

The Santa clause

On Saturday, Henry was telling his friend Emma something about Santa, and Emma point blank told him there was no Santa...and Henry argued for him.

We haven't talked about Santa at all, and don't watch Santa movies. But he hears about it from his friends at school. We have done stockings on Christmas morning, but the big gifts are from family members.

So what's a Christian parent to do about Santa?

I don't want to lie to my children, but I want to encourage generosity and the story of the original St. Nicholas.

ETA: I love playing Santa. Even when I was old enough to know about Santa and my parents stopped putting stuff in our stockings, I continued to fill them. I just enjoy blessing others through little (and sometimes big) gifts--not just at Christmas, but all year. Guess it's not surprising that giving is one of my (and Patrick's) spiritual gifts, and in some ways, I see Santa as a way to teach that to my children. For example, this year I plan to take the kiddos shopping and ask them to "play Santa" with me and buy stocking stuffers for Jubilee Christmas. I don't think that "ruins" Santa, but perpetuates what it is that I like about the whole concept--spontaneous, undeserved gifts, just like the Father gives us.

So what do you do about Santa?

Advent activities

I found this list buried in my computer--I saved it when Henry was two! The kids are probably old enough for it this year, and it sounds like a fun approach! The key is every day you put a small object in a special box, then talk about it and how it relates to Jesus and Christmas. I think I got it from but I don't see it there now...if anyone knows who to give credit to, please let me know, because this is awesome!

LIST OF GIFTS:(LISTED IN THE ORDER THEY ARE USED)
1. Quarter
2. Grape
3. Smiley sticker
4. gummy fish
5. birthday candle
6. Bell
7. fish crackers
8. Cotton balls
9. piece of a map
10. Soap
11. Heart sticker
12. Cross
13. Packet of salt
14. Sand
15. Flowers(silk)
16. Raisins
17. Seeds
18. Christmas carol
19. Small rock
20. Crumpled foil
21. Mustard seed
22. Dove
23. Small scrap of woolly material
24. Blue marble
25. Picture of a baby.
December 1 - A quarter! That equals 25 cents. But 25 also stands for the number of days till Christmas, when God gave us His best present. Jesus told about one woman's gift and the way she gave it. Read: Mark 12:41-44
December 2 - Grape Gum! Grapes make jelly and juice, raisins and wine. But Jesus didn't need grapes to perform His first miracle. Read: John 2:1-10
December 3 - Here's a smile! A smile usually expresses happiness. Jesus gave us many instructions to keep us happy. Read: Matthew 5:1-12.
December 4 - Fish! Well, if you were surprised to find these fish, wait till you read the story today! Others were surprised to find fish, too. Read: Luke 5:4-7
December 5 - A birthday candle? As you know, we are getting ready to celebrate Jesus' birthday. However, Jesus talked about something else that is related to this candle. Light! Read: Matthew 5:14-16
December 6 - You could make some noise with this. But it would not have bothered a certain man--until he met Jesus. Read: Mark 7:31-37
December 7 - These would not go very far if you were really hungry! But Jesus could make much out of little. Surely He knew how to multiply! Read: Matthew 14:13-21
December 8 - These cotton balls would be helpful in a thunder storm, wouldn't they? We could use them for ear plugs to muffle the loud noises that thunder makes. But we know someone who doesn't need cotton. Jesus can control the weather. Read: Matthew 8:23-27
December 9 - People needing to use the other parts of this map are in trouble! Don't you get lost today! Read: John 14:1-6
December 10 - It's soap. Do you like to wash? Behind your ears? Washing turned out to be a happy time for a man who met Jesus. Read: John 9:1-7
December 11 - Hearts. Wordlessly, they speak of love, don't they? Jesus spoke some commands about love. Read: Matthew 25:17-41
December 12 - We use the cross as a symbol, representing Jesus. Do you know why? Read: Phillipians 2:1-11
December 13 - Ordinary salt. Yes, Jesus related salt to us and our behavior. He also gave us some advice. Read: Matthew 5:14 and Colossians 4:6. (Notice that He doesn't recommend pepper!).
December 14 - Don't try to eat this! It's sand. It reminds us that Jesus knows something about architecture, about buildings--and building lives. See His instructions: Matthew 7:24-29.
December 15 - Flowers are pretty, aren't they? Jesus used flowers to teach us a reassuring lesson. Read: Matthew 6:28-34.
December 16 - Raisins! Many children are given raisins instead of candy for a snack. That's because they are a health-promoting and delicious fruit. Jesus told us how we can produce good fruit. Read: John 15:1-5.
December 17 - Jesus told a story about seeds that man planted. Then He explained it, revealing its deep meaning. Read: Matthew 13:3-8 and Matthew 13:18-23.
December 18 -Christmas is just about a week away. And here is an appropriate song. Sing it loudly! Read: Psalms 100.
December 19 - A hard stone! Can you change this stone into a piece of bread? Do you think Jesus could? Jesus was asked to do just that. Do know how He handled it? Read: Matthew 4:1-4.
December 20 - Try to smooth out this piece of aluminum foil and use it as a mirror. It's hard to see your reflection plainly, isn't it? Many circumstances are hard to understand, but someday everything will be clear. Read: 1 Corinthians 13:12.
December 21 - The mustard seed is the smallest there is! When it sprouts, it grows into one of the largest plants! See what Jesus said. Read: Matthew 17:20.
December 22 - We've learned that the cross represents Christ, but do you know what the dove stands for? Read: Matthew 3:13-17.
December 23 - The threads that compose this fabric came from the wool of a sheep. Jesus called Himself the good shepherd. Do you know who His sheep are? Read: John 10:7-18.
December 24 - A marble! Do you know what is sometimes called the "Big Blue Marble"? The world. God made the world for us. What does God continue doing to the world? And who is the world? Read: John 3:16.
December 25 - Isn't this baby cute? When he was born, he made a whole family happy. Jesus was born a baby, too. He came to make the whole world happy. Read: Luke 2:1-20. Enjoy your celebration today. Continue to learn about Jesus--and love Him forever!