If the title stumped you (it sure was hard to type!), it's ok! This week is "Works for Me Wednesday" in reverse--you post a problem, and see if anyone can solve it for you, or at least have suggestions!
Henry (age 5.5) rarely spends the entire night in his own bed. (He still has occasions of bedwetting, but this it's getting better, knock on wood...but the night wandering continues). This wouldn't be a problem, except I can't sleep when he's in bed with us--there isn't enough room, and it's hard for me to fall back asleep once I'm awake.
We've tried sticker/reward charts, new beds (they'd be bunk beds but we can't have him getting out of them at night!), talked about bigger kids that he admires staying in their own bed all night, praising him for staying in his own bed, punishing him for getting out of bed, and pretty much it's the same as it's been ever since we moved to NY and he was able to get out of bed on his own.
Suggestions??
And if you're looking for an answer to a practical problem, try posting it at WFMW!
16 comments:
This might sound remedial, but prayer? I mean, making it a point of praying over and with him each night...even reading some scripture as well?
Also, when our girls have spells of no-sleep, we suspend ALL outside activities for 5-10 days until things settle down. Sometimes I think they are actually too wired from all that's going on in our lives and when their heads hit the pillow, they don't know how to decompress. So, during those days, we really gear things down from dinner time on, creating a very relaxed atmosphere--no TV, no sugar, warm bath, soft lights, quiet play etc. It usually works...but, it's labor intensive to do that for more than a day or two.
We do read a Bible story and pray with the kids every night, and specifically for Henry to stay dry and in his own bed. The struggle is at 3-4 am.
Oh, how I feel for you! My son did the same thing for years - probably not stopping until he was 7 or 8, although by then he had moved onto going into his sister's bed. I for one was very grateful, even though she was most upset! I wish I had a tip for you, but it seems he just grew out of it on his own. I have heard of putting something in the room for him to come in and sleep on - either a loveseat or a mat on the floor near the bed. That way he's near you to allay his fears, but you can still sleep. Good luck!
We had what my husband called a "pallet" by the bed. A couple of layers of blankets. When the kids came in he would have them lay there. We would hang an arm down for awhile if we needed until they dropped off. It was close enough to us but not in the bed. Eventually they didn't like it and stayed in bed.
I did a WFMW post a while back about our bedtime "hall pass" -- http://amy-tinyblessings.blogspot.com/2007/11/wfmw-bedtime-hall-pass.html
It doesn't work every night, but it's an improvement over how often she got up before.
I used to have to climb in bed with my youngest. He would want to sleep in our bed, but he was all elbows and knees and kept kicking my husband. So I'd take him back to his bed. Then, when he was sound asleep, I'd sneak back to my own room.
The funny thing about life is...one day, your five year old will be 17 like my youngest is now. We just had a talk about how he used to want me to sleep with him. That seems so long ago!
I wish you luck with this, but don't worry. I promise you...it won't last forever.
BTW, he wore 'Pullups' for years. We called them 'night time underpants.' Much more dignified than 'diapers' when you are five!
We have a night wanderer as well. We have found that using the Calms Forte for kids--http://www.hylands.com/products/calms4kids.php seems to help her sleep better thru the night. I don't know why it works, but it does for her.
I would say ask him why he thinks he wakes up at night. Maybe he is scared or whatever. Then I would pray with him about the struggle he is having that keeps waking him up. Maybe put a flash light and Bible next to his bed so he knows that God is with him during the night and he doesn't need to leave his bed. As for you I would take it to the Lord and ask him to show you anything specifically for you to do to help your son. That's tough because the reasons kids get out of bed are so different.
Hi Ann-
I don't have a solution for you on this one, but we did find a great solution for bedwetting. One of our sons was still wetting the bed when he was 6 or 7. For a few weeks we would set our alarm clock for the middle of the night and then either Mike or I would get up and take the boy to the bathroom. We thought that was better than wet sheets. But then one of us had a brain storm! We bought a little alarm clock for the boy and set it for 1 or 2AM and put it next to his bed. That way we could sleep through the night and our son was responsible for getting to the bathroom himself. The only problem with this for you would be once Henry went to the bathroom he'd come crawl in your bed!:-)
First off, I think every child is different and what works for one will not necessarily work for another, BUT...for what it's worth, here's how we handled it:
What we had to do was consistently take our daughter back to her own bed. There were a few LONG nights where it seemed we were back and forth all night long. But she eventually realized we weren't going to let her stay in bed with us and she quit trying.
Consistency is just plain tough, but I think it pays off in the end.
What we did was to first move our daughter from our bed, before we made her go completely to her own room. She spent some time in a bed (a futon) in our room. When she was comfortable with that, we finally moved her into her own room. The first few nights were still a little hard for her, but she was more ready for it than if we had just moved her straight from our bed to her own in her own room.
We struggled with this with our daughter from the time she was 2 until she was 6. After one particularly restless night of sleep, my husband came up with the idea of charging her rent. My daughter is VERY motivated by money and really didn't like this idea of having to pay us a dollar to sleep in our bed. So, we started paying her a dollar for every night she slept in hers overnight. Worked like a charm and she's been in her own room/bed every night since! (She loves money, but also had ADD...which means she forgets things easily. We paid her for the first 4 nights or so and now she only asks for her dollar once a week or so...the best $10 we have ever spent! Everyone in the family is now sleeping better!)
Hey! The money idea is great! My son was diagnosed with leukemia, at age eight, and he assigned a money value to everything he had to undergo during the first month. He loves money too.
I family bedded all three of my kids. When It was time to go, we made it a three-week project, fixing up his/her bed, table, walls, made art for the walls. Stared spending time there in the day, lying on the bed reading, playing. Really talked up the big girl=own bed angle. Made it clear he/she was always welcome back for a snuggle anytime.
I'm #172 at WFMW—come on over and you can link to my contest for $100 of kids' vitamin supplements! Easy entry and a great prize. Contest closes March 7 at midnight. Good luck!
When my 5 year old wanders into the bedroom, I give him my stuffed animal. I have a stuffed animal that I sleep with (since I was a kid!), and I tell him I will let him borrow "Sally" until morning. He has gotten to the point where he just comes in and gets her without waking me. I'm not sure why mine is more comforting than his, but it is what works for me!
We had to start locking the bedroom door to keep our youngest out (she's now almost 30). We started doing that when she was about 8. Several times after that, my husband would find her in the morning, stretched out on the floor in the hall right outside our door, sound asleep.
Wow...how hard....Maybe (of course) pray with him before bed...and then set your alarm to get up once in the middle of the night to take him to the bathroom and then take him back to bed? Maybe that would help? Best of luck to you guys!!!!
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