That's right, my Bible is missing...and has been for almost three weeks. It's not like I haven't been in the Word--my daily reading comes in the e-mail, and most of the time I end up using Bible Gateway or the Blue Letter Bible when I'm studying.
But today it's feeling symbolic. God seems pretty far away right now. This blog hit me right where I am...yes, old married couples can have quiet time, but that doesn't mean both parties like it. I hate silent cars, and lately Patrick has been quiet in the car and turning the radio off...and I'm getting the same thing from God. And prayer tonight just made me FEEL how far away we are right now. I know He's not really far, but I don't deal with No followed by silence. At least the first miscarriage was followed by lots of good God time...not this one.
On my run this afternoon I went over a bridge that went over some really dry rocks. You could see where the water had been, and how picturesque it would be with the water, but now all there was was dry, cracked ground and some dying algae on the rocks. Yeah, that would be me.
It's a good thing the Psalm in my daily reading addresses exactly this--Psalm 107 talks about how God's people were wandering in the desert, chained in bondage, in a storm, and other calamities, and the two choruses that repeat are
Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress and
Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men, for he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.
So thanks, God for all the good things you've done for people who are in distress. I need you to show up in my life too.
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3 comments:
praying for you....
this post made me think about Jesus' time in the desert and what He must have been thinking during that time and the trials He went through. And then, the way the angels ministered to Him so greatly.
I have been there with you. It is hard to get back close to God sometimes. And when you feel like God is not speaking to you, it can be very discouraging. God is there, and He is working. Hindsight is 20/20.
I also have lost a few babies.
It seems that when we are at our lowest point, when we can do nothing to help ourselves, and we finally hit bottom and cry out to God, those are the places where He is closest. Those are the places where we learn to trust him for what we need. After the storm has passed and we can look back on it, we realize, he was there all the time, he just waited for us to say we needed him, to acknowledge him.
I know you are going through a valley. I will keep you in my prayers.
Mama Bear
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