Monday, August 13, 2007

"I Was"

I've been slowly working my way through The Preacher's Wife on-line Bible Study on Moses. It's been so powerful and exactly the issues I need to deal with! Although Lisa is done posting it, I'm on lesson 5 of 12...

The lesson focuses on Moses after he left Egypt the first time, in Exodus 2: 21-22: "Then Moses was content to live with the man, and he gave Zipporah his daughter to Moses. And she bore him a son. He called his name Gershom, for he said, “I have been a stranger in a foreign land.”"

Two main points from the lesson--first, the word content. This is not the blissful content, this is "I'm determined to make this work" kind of content. Settling, perhaps. The second is the name of his son--it sounds like Moses is thinking of himself as a has-been.

My gut reaction to these questions is to not answer them--it feels too raw. But that would be defeating the point of the study, so here we go...

1. Have you ever found yourself 'in faith' yet bewildered or demoralized?
I think I'm kind of struggling with it right now. I feel pretty burnt out about everything--I'm not feeling as called to my work right now, research is aways three steps forward two steps back, and it's just frustrating.
2. Do you consider yourself content? Would you describe it as Decidedly Content or Dreamily Content?
Usually content. I love hanging out with my kids--that's dreamily content. I'm "decidedly content" with our house--we're in year 9 of a rennovation project, and the reason it's taking so long is I've decided to be content to move at Patrick's pace...which is sometimes very hard.

3. If you are not content, are there circumstances that keep you from this feeling?
The unending house project, aspects of my job. I have a feeling God is making us feel some discontent so that we'll be willing to go where he wants to send us, but we just don't know where that is. (Maybe that's next week study!)
4. Have you ever found yourself in a place where you looked back on a period of your Christian walk and believed a great opportunity passed you by?
Not a great opportunity, just lots of little, "why didn't I just..." moments.
5. Do you ever believe your faith was stronger in an earlier time in your Christianity and find yourself floundering now?
Yes. Is there such a thing as an eleven year itch when it comes to faith? It's not that I'm looking outside for satisfaction, it just is a bit of a dry spell right now--kind of the "blahs", going through the motions.

6. Can you recognize that this season may be one of great preparation instead of a period of "I Was"?
I suppose :) We've been feeling like God's preparing us for something anyway, but not quite knowing what that is.


Jen said...

That last question is a hard one...I feel like God has been "preparing" us for over a year now. Some days, I think maybe He's just preparing us for heaven. It's a palpable expectancy, though, so it's tough to decipher what is real and what is just longing. What makes it harder is that I'm not sure I really want whatever change might be on the horizon or through the valley or on the other side of the mountain or across the sea...
I'll pray for you...

Anonymous said...

Hi, very interesting post, greetings from Greece!